Caged Dream

Just woke up from a, well... I wouldnt say nightmare cause it wasnt that scary... I would say its more like... a phoebia that has leaked into my dream. Its a phoebia I had when I was a kid, yes, "had". That phoebia was called "getting-lost". I had quite a number of experiences of getting lost when i was a child. Not just in Singapore, but in other countries as well while on holidays. Not just once or twice but a few times in seperate countries/locations. To tell you the truth, it still has some lingering effect on me. Most proberbly that may be the reason why till now, I dont like to travel alone by myself, be it going to the movies or even to the arcades or what have you. I just dun like to do things by myself. Perhaps I dun like to b lonely? Or perhaps a part of me thinks that something really bad is gonna happen to me and could ended up lost or "off-the-right-track"? Of course at my present state, getting lost isnt much of a big deal, its just troublesome... in the worse case sceniaro, all I have to do is to flag my hand... or... follow the MRT tracks... right? lmao.

And the dream I had? Its more like... a maze... a subtle maze that sort of brought me back to the start, and literally, it did. Its also a "caged Dream" I call it, because honestly I tried to wake up, but I couldnt... honestly, I couldnt. I couldnt even hear or feel whats happening to me IRL all I could see and feel were the moments in that dream I had.

The first place/scene started off at the church i used to attend: its in Bedok, a short bicycle ride could get me home. However in this dream, I could not remember how it first started or what we did before my journey home. However, we were playing with left over sparkles (I somehow felt part of the images I saw was like in my primary school). Apparently, somebody planted them on the ground, vertically of course. I DO NOT think that it is incense because it definately sparkle when I lit it up. Call it random, I have no control over my dream. Anyway, it started to rain, and I quickly threw the unfinished sparkle and got on my new bike... oh wait... yea, I recalled... My dad bought my brother and I a new bike for us. I dunno why but it just happen so stfu... -.-"

Anyway my brother wasnt my brother... it was my friend's little brother... dont ask me why or wtf?... just listen. -.-" ANYWAY! I knew at that point in time, he was my brother, cause HE CALLED ME KOR! And it wasnt the god-brother kind of kor... it was... the real deal man...

So yea, I had another friend with us who is also going home. And I believe that was my childhood friend L.K. He was always the guy leading the way (yea, he has a strong sense of direction... very strong in fact..). So, my brother and I followed him. I was weird, now Im having to guide my little brother and still I was still following someone else... so unconsciously, I was thinking to myself, hey... I DO know how to get back home (like ive stated earlier, quite a short bicycle ride). However, L.K led us into a different route. At first I thought it was a shortcut, cause he knows it best. And so, we journeyed on. Tough ride i must say, fucking complicated. We passed by hills, slopes, vehicles that could have easily knocked us down, across "bridges" that were made of pipes and just a simple wooden board over it, a special hill that has different colourful flowers decorated over it (it was the colour blue that I had visually took note of as the right path to follow). Also passed by a shopping district, where clothes, accessories and I swore I even saw a whore house... not the type where the ladies would stand outside and ask you guys to come in, its more like... you go in, and choose the woman there which were sitting down like as tho its a restauraunt. Rectangle tables... is what I recall too.

So after all that shit We'd been through, I saw my house... weirdly enough, my brother was gone, like... vanished. And L.K said goodbye to me and head home, just the way we always do IRL. And so was I, alone. Heading up to my block. Took the lift to the 10th floor and made a right turn. and guess what? I saw the door positioned NOT the way it was suppose to be, head down one floor and worse... there isnt a door, was simply a dead end. I frantically took the lift down... and guess what? It started at level 40+ and while I was in the lift... I was like... so damn confused I could not even describe clearly what I felt. I noticed around me in the lift that it was dirtier, marks that I havnt see b4 were now there. And then, the lift stopped as it reaches level 1. I got off the lift... and looked around in the area to see the surrounding blocks. And guess what? All the numbers were different and even the looks of the building WERE NOT the same. But how could that be?

Suddenly, I realised, I was at a part in the middle of the journey I had with L.K and my brother. This time, i was alone (weirdly enough, I had my bike with me). I climbed up a slope, cars came rushing down suddenly, unevenly, all nearly knocked me over. Was so tough to push up my bike... and numberously staggered back cause I was so drained. Then this guy in a motorbike came, took my hands/arm and acted like a rope that slowly brought me up the slope. I thanked him and continued on. I ended up at the shopping district, peeking into the whore house (thats how I knew what was inside) journey around, pple noticed that I was kinda lost but offered no help. Then I saw a lady, slightly arnd my mother's age, I spoke to hear because clearly I had forgotten which move to make and asked her for directions. The place I was had like a 2 way split, like a "T". I had to pick which way to go, either left or right. On the left, I saw a beautiful yet something i felt like it was evil or something. The path is like... going into a BIG tube made of bushes, the background was like... dark yellow in colour. On the right, it was a bit dark, however the street lights made it possible to see clearly. I knew at first, that was sorta right feel I had to take that path and continue on the journey, but I had to be sure.

Indeed, the lady pointed me to the direction which was the right path. Continued on and climbed over a hill (the one with different colours of flowers) and followed the colour blue. And then... I saw this image of a part in Tampines that I clearly knew where I was... then... I suddenly woke up...

Weird? I believe like in most of my weird dreams I had and will continue to have, its something that IRL, it influences the dream... be it something you've experience or something you hate, u like, your desires, fears and what have you, clearly... the dream before me is like an open book... I feel that its like... a book called... "My Inner Secrets chapter x". X meaning that its only a fraction of what Im seeing.

Interesting? Yea, I believe so...
After all, its something I could easily identify with because it felt so real...

Thanks for reading...

-JoeL